We’re Pregnant

That’s right we’re pregnant on paper!!!!!! Today marks our first official day on the wait list. Hopefully we will have Jordan in our arms within the next nine months. What a wonderful Christmas present.

It has arrived!!!

Yesterday I asked God to delivery our I-171H, immigrations approval in our mailbox today. Today before going to check the mail I told myself the approval would be in the mailbox and sure enough it was. God is good and he answers prayers. I thank him, I thank him, and I thank him. I know we will get the baby that God has selected for us. This entire process has been God’s work.

Today is my birthday!!!!

I hoped to be on the waitlist by today but that didn’t happen, maybe we’ll make the list by Christmas.

Frustrated

I have two more steps in the process before I’m officially on the wait list. I’ve been extremely frustrated with my agency for a couple of weeks now. Once I receive CIS approval my dossier will be complete. Oh yeah, I need my agency’s approval first!!!! My home study had been sitting on someone’s desk for almost two weeks. I previously inquired on three different occasions as to whether all my documents were received by my agency. I was assured that once my home study was approved it would be sent to immigrations and they had everything they needed. Today I get a reply to an e-mail that I sent over a week ago stating that a document that I originally mailed back in June and again two weeks ago had not been received and that was the hold up. The e-mail also advised that I could fax the form in. QUESTION #1 Why did it take 5 months and 3 inquiries from me, for someone to figure out that they didn’t have this piece of paper? QUESTION #2 Why was I advised two weeks ago that I had to send the original copy, when a fax copy was acceptable. QUESTIONS #3, Why didn’t this incompetent person include the fax number in the e-mail. I think she's full of it, but at this point what can I do, I’m at their mercy.

Guest Book

Today is a Special Day

20 years ago today I gave birth to a magnificent child.

Alex for all the times my days were stressed and things seemed rushed
For all the times you grew up a little faster because I couldn’t always be there
For all the times I thought I was listening but didn’t hear you
For all the times I had to say no and you didn’t understand
For all the times you saw me frustrated and impatient

I have cried inside again and again because what you didn’t see were…

All the times I laughed and bragged about your intelligence, ingenuity and beauty
All the times I was amazed at how perfect you were as I watched you sleep
All the times I noticed how fast you were changing into a wonderful person
All the times I sat with a lump in my throat holding back tears of pride
All the times you inspired me to be a better me

For all the times past and to come no one will ever take your place in my heart

Love Mom

Pam & President Elect Obama

This is a picture of my cousin Pamela and President Obama. The pic was taken during a campaign stop in Fayetteville a few weeks ago. My dear cousin was one of the selected volunteers who was afforded the opportunity to drive in the motorcade. If you know Pam you have already received an 8x10 framed color copy of this photo. And for those of you who have not had the pleasure of meeting her, I'm sure she'll be more than happy to send you an autographed (her autograph) copy.

1 REASON

CIS Finger Print Appointment

Yeah!!! Today I received notification of my finger printing appointment with immigrations, which literally took an act of Congress. After two months of waiting and 5 attempts to obtain confirmation I called my Congressman and today I not only received a reply to my e-mails I received the actual appointment letter. If things continue to go as planned I should be pregnant on paper (waiting for a referral) by December and in Ethiopia no later than September 2009.

I have to send a special thank you to Shannon from the Ethio-Kids of NC group who pointed me in the right direction to get this issue resolved. Thanks Shannon

Two Wonderful Years

Today is my second anniversary. Yesterday I ordered my husband an edible arrangement and had it delivered to his office today. You know the saying about great minds think a like. Well, guess what I received for my anniversary today, if you guessed an edible arrangement you’re right. So now we have enough fruit to last a month. I’m glad I love chocolate covered strawberries!

Charity Water

I received my order from Charity Water today. Can you guess what my family members will be getting for Christmas this year? If you guessed a $20 bottle of water you’re correct. It feels good to have all my Christmas shopping out of the way so early!!!
Please click on the baby bottle on the right to find out more.

Interesting article about adopting

Mary-Louise Parker Talks Adoption. Mary-Louise Parker often reflects back on her childhood, wishing her parents would adopt a sibling and promising herself that someday, she would adopt a child of her own. Now mom to Caroline "Ash" Aberash, 2, the 44-year-old actress says the adoption from Africa was a dream fulfilled. "I think it’s something everyone should do if they can and want to," Mary-Louise said Saturday night at the New Yorker Festival in New York City."I can’t adopt 500 children, but I did adopt this one beautiful little girl and it was an amazing thing. Especially after having been to a Third World country, and having seen the desperation there, and the need, and all the children, and holding those children and seeing them and touching them." Mary-Louise said that she recognizes that the need for adoptive parents is just as great in the United States as it is abroad, but believes every child should have a chance at a great life, regardless of geography: "I hear the comment, "Why not adopt from this country?" There’s a lot of need in this country. And I think if you want to adopt anywhere it’s a beautiful thing, but it’s not a contest. So you shouldn’t say "Why don’t you adopt this child over that child." A child is a child and every child deserves to be loved." "If was a contest, however, a Third World country is different from, say, Baltimore. It’s different when there are dead bodies by the side of the road and parents having to amputate their children’s limbs so children can beg to get money, and mothers are having to sell their daughters into sex slavery. It’s a different thing, so I don’t think you should make it a contest when it comes to children, and who’s deserving of love and who’s deserving of a family. Every child is deserving of that."

Dossier

Dossier sent for authentication minus CIS approval. Next up is our Home Study. I hope to receive a call from our agency within the next week scheduling our Home Study visit.

One step closer

Today I mailed off our official application to the agency!!! Trust me this wasn’t just your average application. Here’s a list of what was included in our application.

Letter from Insurance Carrier, Financial Statement, Notarized Agreement, Risks Statement, Risk Acceptance, HIV testing, Service Agreement, Directions to home, Child Preferences, CIS Release Form, Blog Form, Criminal Background Check, Health Assessment Form (completed by our doctor), 3 Reference Letters, Ten Pictures of family and home.

If you think that’s a lot of paperwork, wait till I tell you what’s needed for our foreign dossier and home study. Stay tune!!!!

International Adoption

With international adoption you really need to be prepared for the fact that anything can happen. Since I began my research, I’ve seen many changes, which cause delays to the process.
We’ve already had to wait a year just to get started due to the marriage requirement rule change. There has also been a change regarding travel. Lately there have been discussions on discontinuing adoptions to single females.

The primary entity that will dictate when we make it to “Gotcha Day” is how long it takes to get through the Ethiopian courts. I’ve been asked if we get to see our son before we make a decision. We will receive a referral but we do not get to select a child. A referral will include a pic, and whatever medical information is available. Based on the referral we will decide to accept or decline the referral. After we accept a referral our agency will petition for a court date on our behalf. A court date could take 3 weeks or it may be much longer. Ethiopian courts close for the raining session from August – September. To pass court we will need a favorable opinion from MOWA; if the child is being relinquished, a biological parent has to be present for court. Often it takes more than one court date to pass court. Only after we have successfully passed through the courts will we be given a travel date, which could be - 2 months later.

Once in Ethiopia we are required to stay for 7 days. There are two American hotels in Ethiopia. We are planning on staying at the Sheraton. While in Ethiopia we will go to the Embassy and apply for a visa for our son to travel home. We will be permitted to visit our son each day at the Care Center. While in Ethiopia we will distribute humanitarian aid and visit some of the orphanages. On the seventh day we will be allowed to pick up our son and bring him home!

Vacation

Yes!!! My husband and I have finally coordinated our schedules and we’re taking a vacation. As usual I made all the arrangements. I’m excited we’re going to DC! I didn’t want to travel too far, because I have so much to do while I’m off work. I thought I would use a couple days of our vacation and knock out some of the adoption paper work. I plan to obtain the following, 3 notarized reference letters, notarized bank letter, fingerprints, background check, submit FBI clearance packet, notarized adoption letter, notarized letter from employer, notarized letter from Life Insurance carrier, notarized letter from health insurance and 10-12 family photos. I think that’s a good start. We’ll get our physicals in Oct. My plan is to submit all the required documents for the dossier and application by the end of Oct. then schedule our home study. We have to get approved by our agency, and then we will go on the wait list for a referral. The current wait time for a referral after approval by our agency is 5-7 months. Of course that could change at anytime. I’m estimating we’ll have to wait 5 months. Once we accept a referral, we’ll have to wait for a court date in Ethiopia, which could take another 1-2 months. Then we have to wait for a travel date, another 1-2 months.

Department of Homeland Security

Our request to adopt an orphan, form I600 was returned. It seems that the Department of Homeland Security has opened an office in Raleigh and they have jurisdiction over our area. I received the returned forms on Saturday. Because I’m required to Fed Ex the forms, I had to wait until today before I could send it to the correct office.

Request approval to adopt an orphan

I600 request to adopt an orphan was sent to Immigrations today, along with our marriage certificate, birth certificates, my divorce decree and a check for $830. This is really happening

We have a name

We have decided on naming our son Jordan. Now if we could just get the paperwork done!

Plumpynut

Good new story about malnutrition. Please click the link to view a video clip

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2007/10/19/60minutes/main3386661.shtml

The Big Picture

Please click on the link below.

http://www.boston.com/bigpicture/2008/06/ethiopia_in_food_crisis_once_m.html

Learn Earn Return

While on a flight to Miami this week I read an uplifting article in Ebony magazine written by Jerome Bettis. Bettis is the former running back for the Steelers, who has since retired. Coincidentally, his position was filled by my cousin, Willie (Junior) Parker. In the article, Bettis discusses his philosophy of the three stages of life.
1) Learn: Education, Growth and Development 2) Earn: Make a living, Provide for your family, Earn a place in life 3) Return: Combine what you’ve learned and what you’ve earned and return. The return stage is where you have the ability to change lives.

Bettis states, 35 years ago a man in Detroit set out to make a change in his community. The man felt if he could influence at least one child he would have succeeded in improving his community. That man was Reggie McKenzie former NFL player and that child was Bettis. Now Bettis is on a mission to Return. When he was a freshman in college Bettis would return home to Detroit on breaks, determined to reach out to other inner-city kids at churches and rec centers about making the right choices in life. Bettis is also the founder of a Foundation for at risk children. Talk about paying it forward. Bettis believes that success is not about being successfully, but the ability to make others successful.

While Bettis feels it’s important to learn and earn it’s equally important to return and give back. To help others with what you’ve been privileged with. I believe this is true for every person, you don’t have to be in the NFL, rich or famous to return and give back. If you are reading this you are privileged. I know that the world will not change because I have made a contribution to a worthy cause or adopted a child, however that child's life will be forever changed.

Compliments

Within the past 24 hours, I received two awesome compliments. Today I received word that one of my cousins whom I’ve sent several e-mails regarding Ethiopia is considering adoption! Wow, my blog has only been up a few days and it’s already had an affect on someone. The purpose of this blog is for me to share my story as well as inspire others. It’s an amazing feeling to have accomplished that in less than one week. If sharing my story will inspire just one person to adopt that’s one more child who will have a better opportunity at life. Love you D!
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not advocating that you should go out an adopt a child. What I am saying is we as African Americans can do better. Adoption isn’t the solution to Ethiopia’s problem. I don’t have the solution, but I can’t sit by knowing that children are dying without doing something. When we travel to Ethiopia we will have an opportunity to personally deliver Humanitarian aid to some of the Orphanages. Those of you who are interested in donating a non monetary gift please continue to follow my blog, as our travel date approaches I will post a list of items needed at the orphanages. Some of which you can pick up at your local discount store for not much at all.
Compliment number # 2 came from my husband. Last night he looked at me and said, he’s never before realized how much I resemble Ethiopian’s. It’s funny because I’ve been called a lot of things from Mexican to well I better not say. But being told I look Ethiopian is a compliment to me because they are among the most beautiful people I’ve ever seen. Love you babe!

A woman adopting from Ethiopia made the following comments.

Well, I knew it was coming! Someone was bound to make an insensitive race remark considering my mountain white-bread family. It was bound to happen. So: My grandpa is an old southern mountain guy. Very successful in business, but he is a self-made man. He only had an 8th grade education, grew up poor in the basically white-only mountains of VA, that sort of thing. Anyway, when he is perturbed, mad, or about to ask a pointed mean- spirited question that he knows he should not ask his glasses "jump". His nose starts twitching and his eyes blink and it makes his glasses jump. It is actually kind of funny and he has no clue he is doing it. When his glasses are jumping, you don't mess with him. Anyway, we are at my grandparent’s house and at the breakfast table my grandpa says, "Why Africa?" and his glasses are twitching. You could see it all over his face! All I could think was "Oh my gosh! My grandpa has a problem with me adopting from Africa!" You could just tell! I just said, "Grandpa... kids are starving, kids are DYING! I have to do something! These are my kids and they need me!" I said it very sweetly and was telling him some of the situations going on in Africa... then... Later that day I got my pictures out and showed my kids to him. He glanced at them and when I took them back I said, "They are cute, aren't they?!" He looked at me... glasses twitching... and said with a smirk "I don't know, I can't tell if they are cute or not!" TRANSLATION: I CAN NOT TELL IF THEY ARE CUTE BECAUSE THEY ARE BLACK!!! BULLCRAP!!! Anyone who has seen the pictures knows... these kids are gorgeous! Come ON!!! Maybe I am biased... but you can at least LIE TO ME! I just laughed and said "They are cute! Don't do this to me!" and walked away... but it hurt... bad!!! I think they have a few problems with this adoption, but I know they have enough sense to not show it in front of the kids and when I get them home I know they will fall in love with them... they just don't like the "idea"! When I told my mom about the whole thing she said my grandpa's brother made a smart-butt comment. He saw the pictures of my kids and did not say a thing. My grandma then showed him pictures of my uncle’s white/peachy kids and he said, "Now those are some kids I could love! My mom was LIVID! She said, "I could love any child, it is sad for you that you can't". That made my day! I am grateful my mom is sticking up for them and is "owning" them as her grandchildren!!! Anyway, it is terrible but my grandpa is VERY ill and does not have long to live and really I could get the call any day that he has passed because his heart is BAD, so really I do not worry about my kids being exposed to his bigotry. Not saying I want my grandpa to die, but practically speaking, there is no need for me to fight the battle, he is not going to be around for long. And my great uncle who made the other comment I NEVER see... so whatever! Anyway, just wanted to share my frustration, but at the same time I learned a great lesson about how my mom really feels... HOORAY!

I thought the grandpa dying part was hilarious, sometimes you just have to laugh!

Friends

Today I sent an e-mail notification to several of my friends informing them of my blog. I’m curious to see how many of them will actually take a peep and leave a comment.
I have been somewhat fascinated with blogs since the first time I read one, mostly because I was searching for insight into international adoption. Since I didn’t know anyone who had ever adopted internationally the search began. Wow, the things people say when they are not really speaking directly to anyone can be very amusing to say the least. I especially love how non African Americans’ speak candidly about their experiences raising African American children or should I say a child of color.
Let’s just toss the political correct stuff out the window now, African American takes too long to say and type. We all know the majority of people with brown skin will be considered Black no matter where they originate. Personally I don’t mind be described as a black girl, especially now since I’m 30ish. I think it’s the girl part I like best, but I digress.
I have taken an excerpt from another blog that I thought was interesting. I will post it next so this post isn't extremely long. I hope you don’t get offended when reading it; sometimes you just have to see the humorous side of things.

Primary Reason

For those of you who know me well, know I’m not a very religious person, however I do love the Lord. So what I’m about to say may sound a bit out of character. The primary reason I’m adopting is because I was directed to do so by God. I can’t explain it and I don’t question it, I was led to do it and I’m doing it. I’ve been blessed and selfish most of my life and now it’s time to be a blessing to someone else in need. I truly believe what God ordains he will maintain.

Today is the day

After months and months of reading other blogs I decided that today was the day. Today I created my very first blog. My DH (husband) and I decided to adopt from Ethiopia shortly after our wedding. I began researching agencies and discovered that most agencies required couples to be married two years prior to beginning the process. So the wait began, we are now only a few months away from our second anniversary and I’m counting down the days. Because I've had almost two years to research Ethiopian Adoptions I have already started collecting some of the required documentation needed for immigration approval as well as our foreign dossier. We are hoping to have our child home by the end of 2009 or early 2010. Please keep us in your prayers as we journey through the process to bring our child home.